Yep, that's about how I feel
I’ve got a lot of anger in me at the moment.
Why? Because dealing with computer issues has kept me from making progress on my to-do list, including posting on this blog.
The good thing is that my anger has motivated me to solve the problems. That’s anger’s job, as it were: anger seeks to right a wrong, to correct an injustice.
The bad thing is that my anger doesn’t make fine distinctions about the exact cause of the injustice. I want vengeance! It’s not fair that I’ve lost this time! I’ll take it out on the grocery store clerk or my best friend, even though they have nothing to do with screwing up my computer!
So, when I’m tempted to act out of anger, I try to give myself a reality check. I ask, will yelling at this person solve the problem? Will hitting my computer make anything better?
The answer, “No,” isn’t enough to satisfy anger, though. Anger needs to take action. So, (assuming I’ve succeeded in not screaming my lungs out or smashing the keyboard) I follow up with another question: What will solve the problem? I’ll even put it in slightly more, shall we say, vigorous terms: How can I demolish the obstacles here?
Then, if I’ve managed to temper my anger with reason, I’m able to attack and tackle my problems in a way that actually achieves a just and even beneficial solution – and at the same time satisfies my ire.
One last note: I’m using “if” a lot in this post. That’s because my success at tempering my wrath is just a smidge less than perfect. Okay, truth be told, it’s usually in hindsight that I figure out the best way to deal with a situation, and then I have to include damage control.
But I’m getting better, slowly. I catching my irritation and frustration sooner, and I’m doing less damage in the meantime, and every once in a while I actually revise my course of action before I start showing the world how angry I am. That’s the process of practicing virtue: notice what’s going on, then do your best to take appropriate action, then evaluate how it worked; and slowly the noticing happens more quickly and easily, and then so does the taking action, and meanwhile the evaluation becomes fuller and more insightful.
Dealing with anger is an area I’m pretty low in virtue, but slow progress is still motion in the right direction.
Okay, off to catch up on that to-do list!
